Jumper
by Ryuko-chan
Summary: A songfic for Jumper. Saionji's wearing himself down to nothing, but that's all right, because nobody cares, right? Well, one person cares, and she's going to do something about it, even if it costs her everything.


You could put the past away  
  
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend  
  
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in  
  
And if you do not want to see me again I would understand  
  
I would understand  
  
The angry boy a bit too insane  
  
Icing over a secret pain  
  
The hand that held the autumn leaf was shaking. The small, sad, girl let it fly off into the breeze. Just then, she heard a voice behind her,  
  
"Wakaba, what are you doing out here all alone?" Utena asked. Wakaba whirled.  
  
"Utena!" she said, "Oh, nothing!" she finished, smiling, her usual genki, sugar-coated self again. Utena blew her bangs up with a bored expression on her face.  
  
"Man, I'm so sick of taking finals.." she moaned. Wakaba made a face.  
  
"Me, too." She said. Utena smiled,  
  
"Wanna study with me and Anthy later?" she asked. Wakaba's face fell. Anthy. She shook her head.  
  
"No, that's OK, I have things to do." She said. She walked off, waving, "Bye, Utena!" she said. Utena waved a bit confusedly. Of course, she could never understand. She hated him. Wakaba went to her dorm. She sat on her bed, thinking of him, and wishing for him. All her wishes these days were for him.  
  
You know you don't belong  
  
You're the first to fight  
  
You're way too loud  
  
You're the flash of light on a burial shroud  
  
I know something's wrong  
  
Well everyone I know has got a reason  
  
To say put the past away  
  
"Kyouichi." she thought. She always called him Kyouichi in her mind, "I wish you could be happy.." There had always been something deep inside him, something even her irrepressible happiness couldn't change. She couldn't find out what he had always been afraid of. She couldn't help him. With Wakaba, not being able to help those you loved was the worst thing that could ever happen to you. And she so wanted to help him. She glanced over at the spot where he sat, the spot he had always been waiting for her. He fit in. It was like he belonged there. And Wakaba missed it. It had torn out her heart when he had left. It had ripped it to shreds when she had seen the leaf in Anthy's hair. Only now, very slowly, was it mending. But, Wakaba knew, it wasn't something she could change. And, now that she left, she could see that he was hurting. He was changing back to what he was before. A broken, introverted, and sad man. She didn't want him to be sad.  
  
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend  
  
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in  
  
And if you do not want to see me again I would understand  
  
I would understand  
  
Very quietly, Wakaba walked out into the hallways of the dormitory. She didn't want to disturb any of the other students, as it was very late at night. She wanted to see him, she wanted so bad it was like an ache. She knew, she was fairly sure anyway, that if he saw her, he would never forgive her. He would want her to go away and never come back. She didn't really mind. Just so long as maybe she helped him, and maybe she saw him one more time, she would be fine with that.  
  
She made her way to the kendo room. Everyone knew he was there. No one else ever went there anymore, because he was always brooding. She glanced through the window. He was there, all right. He had fallen asleep, no doubt out of total exhaustion. She could tell by the way he was sleeping, leaning on the wall cross-legged, practice sword still in hand. She rushed around to the side of the building, opening the door. She quietly crept through the hallway, and pushed open the door.  
  
Well he's on the table and he's gone to code  
  
And I do not think anyone knows  
  
What they're doing here  
  
And your friends have left you  
  
You've been dismissed  
  
I never thought it would come to this  
  
And I, I want you to know  
  
Everyone's got to face down the demons  
  
Maybe today  
  
You could put the past away  
  
She looked at him, smiling. He looked so sweet, asleep like that. There was no shadow of that domineering, superior, sneering man that he was before he was expelled. He just looked lost, alone, and sad. Wakaba smiled painfully. She didn't wish for him to always be this way. She wanted him to be happy. She wondered whatever could have been done to him in his youth, in his past, to make him this way. He was a very impressionable man, she knew. After only a few weeks with her, his attitude, his demeanor had changed drastically. But when he was plunged back into the world, back into the twisted world of the duels, he changed. He became, not what he once was, not what he was with her, some broken, smashed mix of the two. Wakaba reached out a hand, taking out the loosened hair tie. She smoothed his sweat-soaked curly hair. Her hand trailed down to his face, and she caressed his cheek. Suddenly, he jumped, awake. He blinked sleepily, and a little surprised, into her face.  
  
"Wakaba-kun?" he asked. She pulled back her hand as if it had been burned. She swallowed back tears.  
  
"Saionji," she said. Then she shook her head, "Kyouichi." She said. He frowned, still confused. His voice was raspy from sleep and exercise, and his forehead was damp with sweat.  
  
"What are you doing here?" he asked, still too utterly exhausted and confused to be angry. She smiled at him, and he sat up.  
  
"I just.. wanted to.." she paused, she didn't exactly know what she was doing there, "see.. how you were doing." She finished. Saionji frowned, then got up, taut muscles cracking from sleeping too long in an odd position.  
  
"I'm all right.." he said, voice devoid of all emotion. She sighed, her breaths wavering a bit as she held back still more tears. She stood up, blinking.  
  
"No, you're not. It doesn't take a whole lot to see that." She said bluntly. Saionji turned to her as he was rubbing his neck free of soreness, and raised an eyebrow. She stood up straight, "But, it does take a lot to come here and say it. Kyouichi, please don't turn me away just now. I have a few things I want to say to you. And, if you never want to see me again after this, so be it." Saionji blinked, surprised, at the tone in her voice, but he didn't say a word, just looked at her with eyes that were so wide. So much more innocent than she had ever seen them be. She could see the fear in them. He was afraid. He probably thought that she was going to tell him to get lost or that she couldn't stand him. That had been the consensus with everyone who had talked to him lately. So, in his mind, no one cared. And maybe, she was going to tell him, that she didn't care either. She looked at him, blinking back tears once again.  
  
"Kyouichi." She said, "I care!" she said, bursting into tears. His eyes went even wider than before. He reached an arm out, as if to comfort her. She stopped his arm, looking up at him with glistening eyes.  
  
"No! I have to say this! I care, Saionji, I really do. And, and I'll always care! I don't know why you are who you are, but I can't just stand around and let you be alone! I don't care if my friends think I'm crazy! I'd rather love you and be crazy than hate you and see someone be so alone." She said, burying her head in her arms. Saionji dropped the shinai that was in his hand. He looked at her with an expression that was just complete and utter astonishment. He was so surprised that anyone cared about him, and that just made Wakaba sob even harder. He put one arm out on her heaving shoulder.  
  
"Wakaba-kun.." he said, "I thought that." she put her hand over his.  
  
"Well, don't think that anymore. I care about you, even if no one else does. And if you want me to, I'll step out of your life right now. But, you have to remember, that someone cares about you. Even if that someone is just me." she said. She brushed his arm off her shoulder, then walked towards the doorway. She looked back at Saionji. His eyes were shadowed by his hair, and he looked down. Wakaba turned, eyes still streaming tears, and opened the door.  
  
"Wait!" said Saionji. He walked to the door, muscles shaking a little with fatigue, "I think maybe I should go back to my dorm." He said. Wakaba repressed the urge to hug him. They walked down the path a little, separating where their paths diverged. Wakaba turned into the crisp autumn night.  
  
"Wakaba." Saionji called from behind her.  
  
"Yes?" she said, turning. He glanced at her.  
  
"You think, perhaps, we could have lunch together some time, or take a walk?" he asked, in a wistful voice. She smiled.  
  
"Perhaps, Saionji-sama." She said. Saionji looked at her.  
  
"And Wakaba?" he said.  
  
"Hmm?" she said.  
  
"Please keep calling me Kyouichi." He finished. She nodded.  
  
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend  
  
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in  
  
And if you do not want to see me again I would understand  
  
I would understand  
  
I would understand  
  
I would understand  
  
I would understand  
  
I would understand  
  
Understand  
  
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
  
Can you put the past away  
  
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend  
  
I would understand  
  
A few days later, Utena sat eating a lunch of sukiyaki with her rose bride. Anthy was busily feeding noodles to Chu Chu, when they noticed an amazed hush come over all the students eating lunch in the courtyard. Utena's head flew up, and Anthy glanced up.  
  
"Anthy, is that Saionji?" Utena asked. Anthy nodded.  
  
"Hai, Utena-sama." She said, "and Wakaba-kun." She said. They were walking arm in arm, Saionji standing upright and strong. Every so often, Wakaba would stop and point out a particularly beautiful flaming orange leaf on the courtyard trees. There was something more relaxed in his demeanor, a thing that defied explanation. Wakaba was happy, but it was a different happy than she usually was. This happiness radiated from her. It was real. And, when she thought no one was looking, she looped her arm around Saionji's and smiled up at him. He really didn't seem to mind. Utena smiled.  
  
"Maybe he's not such a bad guy after all." She confided to Anthy, who looked at Utena. She smiled.  
  
"Perhaps." Anthy said. Then, as an afterthought, "If you say so, Miss Utena." Wakaba smiled up at Saionji. Voices floated through the air, saying,  
  
"I wonder if they're together,"  
  
"I wonder if Saionji's gonna stay out of the Kendo room now."  
  
"I wonder if Wakaba knows who she's hanging on!"  
  
"I wonder.. if he minds that I love him." Thought Wakaba. Looking up at him, and seeing the half-smile on his face, she was glad she had made that move in the night. He glanced down at her, and it bloomed into a full smile. She blinked up at him.  
  
"Kyouichi.." she said, "You need to smile more often." She said. A solitary leaf floated down from the trees above, fiery orange. It landed near another, plain brown one. As the wind toyed with these two leaves, the stems moved around and intertwined. They weren't alone any more.  
  
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend  
  
I would understand  
  
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend  
  
And I would understand  
  
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend  
  
I would understand  
  
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend  
  
I would understand 


End file.
